Friendships and Future

This is the hardest part: saying goodbye to these friends that I have made! :'( I have gotten to know so many wonderful people here, who have become actual friends, that it will be difficult to leave, having very little guarantee that I will see them again! One of the great things about traveling over the last semester is that I have realized the world is smaller than I thought. What I mean is, I never know when I will run into someone! Until then, Facebook and WeChat are great inventions!

I'm reminding myself to be still. At this point my brain is already focused on going back, and wondering about keeping up with Chinese when I go home. It is not productive to allow myself to be distracted by things that haven't even happened yet! This morning I listened to "It Is Well," by Kristene Dimarco, which just reminded me of the week before I came here. I was nervous about coming to a new country and throwing myself into a language I didn't understand. Well now I'm in the opposite position, getting used to "real life" again. This doesn't change the fact that the Father is COMPLETELY in control! He is not surprised by anything that will happen :) Now I will just have to wait and see!....

Serving the King

Not a lot of memorable things have happened this week, but I've still been busy. I've gotten to help teach English at another local school, similar to the school that I am attending. I really enjoy this kind of teaching, and it gives me a good idea for possible job ideas! I'm enjoying the last few weeks here in Yangshuo, and getting to hang out with some friends, in addition to studying. It's a bittersweet time because I'm leaving a place that I've become familiar with, and new friends I've gotten to know well.
On the other hand, I'd like to include some of the thoughts I've had toward the many people who have had a hand in training me in my beliefs throughout the years. In the three months I've been here in China, I have realized how important it is to know what I believe and why. Especially in college I focused on making my beliefs my own, not just something my parents taught me. I think this has helped me to maintain the security that I need when surrounded by so many different beliefs here. I am secure in who I am because I know that Christ lives in me. I can be confident that He is creating me into the person He wants me to be.
One of my friends the other day was having a hard time with some of her close relationships. A lot of things seemed to hit her all at the same time, and she mentioned to me that the Father must be testing her to see how she would react to all the horrible situations. I told her that God does not force us to make certain decisions, but does allows people to make their own choices. Another person I know said that if he were God, he would make everyone do what he wanted. I asked him if that was truly what he would want. He asked me what I meant, and I got to explain that forced obedience is not something that the Father would require, because He is loving, and wants us to want to serve Him. Not much came of that, but it made me realize that this is what I really believe! It's so important to be aware that I am serving the Father not out of obligation, but because I want to act out how much I love Him! It's a difficult concept to grasp here.
 THANK YOU to those who have taught me throughout the years so that I can discover new things as I take each step toward where God has placed me!

Loving myself

I've recently read an article by Allison Vesterfelt called, How to Find Love. This article is essentially teaching people how to love themselves. 

Not just be okay with yourself, or tolerate yourself, but to find the reasoning behind poisoning thoughts and why they take root. The main point of this article is to capture my thoughts. This was extremely poignant for me, and definitely needed to be reminded Whose I am! Here are some points that I jotted down as I read the article. I've attached the link at the bottom. 

• Loving myself ---"I acknowledge I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I accept myself fully and completely, just as I am."
• I am worthy of loving myself---once I get over the false humility that I don't deserve the Father's love, then I can actually experience true gratefulness!
• Let fear go--this is a big one for me. I feel so confident at times, but find myself leaning on my insecurities instead of the truth of who I am. "Our criticism of others is often the way that we see ourselves"
• I'm not perfect, but I don't need to be
• Change my thought patterns
• *get less busy. I actually starred this one because I almost told myself, "Ah, I can ignore this one." I know I probably need this one the most!

I felt this knot of worry in my gut---that I hadn't even known was there!---releasing as I realized the truth behind these words! Allison encourages us that the love we feel for ourself can stay with us, no matter what takes place in life! Before closing, let me note: I DONT BELIEVE ANY OF THIS IS PERMANENTLY POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE FATHER! Strong will is not enough to make permanent change unless He has control of your life! I hope this impacts you as much as it did me, and that you at least find one grain of truth that you can latch onto!

http://allisonvesterfelt.com/how-to-find-love/ 

Just one of those days!

This has been a tough week...no particular reason, except that I'm pretty busy with full day classes. I'm learning (key here: IN THE MISDT OF LEARNING) how not to take things personally.

• I got into a debate with another classmate on the benefits of homework, 
• haven't worked out as much as I would like, and feel like I've gained 20 pounds! 
• just finished a complete day where my brain was mush, and 
• I actually said half a sentence in Spanish during class (remember, I'm supposed to be learning Chinese)!

I know it's just one of those weeks, but I constantly am listening to my "encouraging" music and catching up online with Sunday stuff! This keeps me grounded, reminding myself that there really is a world outside of language school :)
Several of my friends here and especially back home have helped me a lot with encouraging words, whether or not they knew it. I had an instance today where I had to ask for help on my homework because nothing was landing in my brain! It was a fairly simple assignment, but one of the other students offered to help. He basically read through the entire thing with me, and I had to remind myself that I'm not helpless, even though I ask for help. These are just truths I'm reminding myself of daily. I think reminding myself whose I am will keep me ready for a time when someone else needs my help!

hilarious song!

My teacher showed this to me in class the other day! Besides the fact that this song is pretty funny/relevant to my life right now, they're also really good musicians!

Halfway point! And a visit from the Padres!

This weekend my parents came to see me!!! Here are some bullet point highlights:

In my attempt at conversations during travel to Hong Kong, I learned how important tones are! Thank you to my teachers! This is when I really appreciate what I've been learning in class! 

Mom, dad and I didn't meet up the first night in Hong Kong, so I ended up staying in little hotel. However it had an awesome pillow and AC! One of the little kids on the street pointed and called me a foreigner, which I haven't heard too often in our little tourist town :)

I had an awesome day hanging out with family! That first night I got to swim some laps---soooo relaxing! I really miss swimming pools! This entire weekend I've gotten to read for fun and forget about studying for a little bit. I think I need that for some sort of sanity!
I got to ride my first motor scooter and show mom and dad some samples of Chinese cuisine. We even experienced a cooking class together! It was a great weekend!
This week I've really been enjoying listening to Dave Barnes and Nicole Nordeman. It reminds me to focus on the Lord, and not to be pressured by my own voice, which sometimes tries to convince me that I have to do everything perfectly. 

I have downloaded some sermons from previous series at church, which are really good as I'm trying to focus on hearing the Lord's voice in my life. I've really appreciated the prayers of my friends and family! It's great to keep up with everyone through FB and Instagram, etc. Here's my chosen song for the day!

Almost halfway!

The last couple weeks have been pretty eventful, yet routine at the same time. Each day I review a little before class, usually go to lunch with a couple friends, meet with my language partner in the evening, and hang out with friends in the evenings. On Wednesday nights they have basic salsa classes, and it's been awesome to practice with some Spanish music---makes me feel right at home! I've watched more soccer, football, and rugby in the last week than I have since the beginning of the year!
This last weekend, the English and Chinese schools went to the rice terraces, which we got to visit right before all the rice was harvested (within the next couple weeks). I felt like this was a great chance to practice what I've learned in Chinese. Little by little, right? I've put several pictures of the weekend on Facebook, and I've been told this last weekend was the best time to visit!
One of the new challenges: starting intensive classes, which simply means I am taking full day classes for the next few weeks. I love having a different teacher in the morning, and am definitely learning a lot with new classmates! There are soooo many new vocabulary words to learn, so I feel like I'm constantly reviewing. One of the new phrases we learned was from a movie that I watched as a kid, so connections like that help me to remember what I'm learning!
 This weekend I'm going to get to see Mom and Dad, and I can't wait to play tour guide! It'll be great to see people from home, right in the middle of my China visit!

Week 5 completed!

One of the things I'm so glad I have while I'm here is my music! Sometimes I listen to Nicole Nordeman's "Seasons," or Amanda Cook's "You Make Me Brave." They are always inspiring and encouraging, and it keeps me focused on the real reason I'm here! It's so easy for me to try to push myself for not learning Chinese quick enough. I'm always trying to challenge myself, but it shouldn't get to the point where I am TOO stressed over it! I'm here to see what the Father wants to do with my life, and this was the open door I chose. This is the circumstance that I am in right now.
Another encouraging thing has been to remind myself of who I am, according to the Father. This environment, no matter how positive I try to be, is an environment of comparison. It's easy for me to get caught up in that---from how well everyone speaks Chinese, number of language partners, healthy foods eaten, to how many pounds lost! I don't really fit into any of these categories, and it can get a little discouraging. I am so thankful that I have built a habit of taking time out to study the Word while in the States, so this helps a lot to have daily encouragement! I've also weekly been listening to sermons from home.
In other news, I've been given a Chinese name, which really is just Hannah in Chinese 海娜 (hǎi nà). However...I AM a little excited that I can actually spell it in Chinese characters, and will ask my language partner about doing the same thing with my last name, too!

One-third is finished!

I've been here for a month!! My new roommate (Lucy!) came in today :) :) I will get to practice lots of Chinese! Yessssss!
A few of the things I'm thankful for:
**Patient teachers, because my friends and people on the street still confirm that my Chinese is close to jibberish!
** I'm getting better at understanding Chinese and reading hanzi (Chinese characters)
**My teacher speaks lots of Mandarin in class
I've gotten to the point in my stay that, while I'm not necessarily homesick, it has been good to talk to friends and family this week! I've been craving American food, like pizza and chai tea (which I can find similar things here) and Mexican food (which I CANNOT!). I've begun to consistently review my new vocabulary, and am attempting to read my new Chinese book. I know eventually I will understand!
There have been a couple times this week that I've been able to indirectly share about special things, and I know the Father will do with it what he wants!
One of the things that has bothered me--this week especially-- is that I've had to make  a conscious effort to not compare myself to others language learners. There were even a couple instances in class where I had to remind myself, I am where I need to be, and it's okay not to have the answers to everything!
Simple, yes, but sometimes hard to execute.
I need to listen to what the Father says.

Little by little...

I'm now finished with my third week here at language school! More pictures are on Facebook and Instagram.
Some bullet point blessings:

• I'm slowly beginning to speak with friends and peers in Chinese (before, it was mainly during class, or with my language partner). I've also tried writing in my Chinese journal. Even though I only have a small knowledge of Chinese, I can tell it's very choppy! But I know it's just one step towards improving! :) One of the teachers at the English college (also my language partner) tells me, “越嗨越好！（yuèhāiyuèhǎo）” This basically means, the more I practice, the better I'll get!
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• Several of us are going to visit a tea plantation on Sunday!
• I have time to read this weekend! Though I love reading, I definitely have not made time for it! Maybe this weekend is just the beginning of a good habit!
• I really enjoy teaching kids English! I've been volunteering an hour a day at the English language academy, and sporadically getting to visit some classrooms near our town. It's so fun to see more confidence and progress when the students get to practice what they're learning in the classroom!
• Today it's really rainy, so here's my song of the day!

 

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First week summary

It has been hard to write this post, and not because I haven't had time. It is great in this little touristy town, but it is very frustrating not to communicate much yet! I gotten to know some of my fellow classmates and other students from this school and the English counterpart down the road. 

I've gotten an opportunity to work at a school that was giving a camp this week for kids around China to learn English. That was a lot of fun! Now that I've gotten a whole week under my belt, I'm beginning to get some sort of grasp on vocabulary, which I think will help me later. I'm beginning to work with a language partner this week, so that will be really helpful. Just a work in progress! 

On a side note, I've begun to reread a favorite book by Lisa Bevere called, Lioness Arising, about becoming who God has called you to be through following the Lord. I'm excited to review some of the things I've learned since the last time I read it!
*note: pictures are on Instagram and Facebook!

China Bound!

At the time of my writing this, I am headed to China for three and a half months!! I know, crazy, right! :) I've started up my blog again so that family and friends can keep up with my life, too! I am beyond excited, though I must admit that sometimes I think I've bitten off more than I can chew! 
I've included an inspiration from one of my favorite authors, J.R.R. Tolkien, found in his book, The Hobbit--click here for e-book version. (*quote from Etsy.com)

Since I was a teenager, I've wanted to visit China (zhong1 guo2) 中国, and I thought this would be the perfect opportunity! I've been an elementary teacher for six years, and I am ready to experience something different! Really, I have no other reason to be venturing this far from home, except to study a new culture and a completely different language! Have I mentioned how this is both exciting and nerve-wracking?

While in China, I will be studying for half a day and volunteering a couple hours each day. On weekends, I'll get to explore the city and visit other parts of China! This is my first time to travel here, so I hope to experience some awesome things! 
GOAL #1 for this week: get adjusted to China's timezone (13 hours difference!)
GOAL #2: make a couple new friends
GOAL #3: become familiar with some of the shops and buildings around here...maybe get some language practice in while I'm at it!
 Zai4 jian4! 再见！(bye!)